I am grateful for all that you have done for me.
Not just for the amazing, daily bounty you pour out upon me,
food and shelter, friends and work, and Cats,
although I am filled with gratitude for all those things.
But I am grateful for the many times and ways you showed me your love,
even though I didn’t see it.
even though I didn’t believe it.
even though I would have rejected it had I known it came from you.
For I was homeless, and you always provided a place for me to sleep
I was suicidal, and you sent a loving friend.
I repeatedly placed myself in harms way, and you keep me alive.
I was beaten and raped, and you gave me safe places to talk about that.
I was bullied and abused, and you let me forget until I needed to remember.
I was without faith, and you sent the faithful to teach me of your love.
And I am grateful, Lord, that you have embraced me all my life,
even when I turned away from you
even when I spoke of you and your people hatefully
even when I would have disbelieved . . . if I could.
But I always believed in You, even when I believed wrongly
For you are the Lord, my God, creator of everything.
I am grateful that you have given me so many ways to share what I know about your love,
with people who believe, but may need to be reminded.
with people who grieve, and may wonder where you are.
with people who do not know you, but do know there is an empty space inside,
like the one that I had.
That God sized hole in my heart.
Thank you, Lord, for filling my life with opportunity,
for filling my mind with understanding,
for filling my soul with your healing power,
and for filling that hole in my heart with your love.