Self Control?!

1 Peter 4:7-11 Common English Bible (CEB)

7 The end of everything has come. Therefore, be self-controlled and clearheaded so you can pray. 8 Above all, show sincere love to each other, because love brings about the forgiveness of many sins. 

Be self-controlled and clearheaded?  Seriously?  But it’s the end of everything!!!  

Although we have no way of knowing for sure, this may very well have been the way the people who heard Peter’s letter reacted at first.   They were expecting Jesus to come back any day.  They were being persecuted.  Peter himself was in Rome, in prison, soon to be executed.   It was a fearful time, full of change and worry.  How on earth can he counsel self-control and clear-headedness? And so we can pray?   We are praying!

This reaction resonates with me.  I have days when the idea of clear-headedness is as foreign to me as, well, as the idea of staying inside my house for over 2 months would have been 3 months ago.  I thought we would have maybe 14 days in quarantine and then we could pick up where we left off.  That was so naive.  I’m sure I’m not the only one.   As each new and conflicting report was made public the idea of what the future would look like kept changing until now I can accept the fact that the future will look nothing like the past.  That’s about as far as I can get right now.  

And the idea that we have to be self-controlled and clear-headed in order to pray??  I was praying perfectly well, thank you very much.  “Help me!” is a prayer.

As time passed I started to calm down a bit. I developed a routine that helped me get enough rest and relaxation while still getting my work done - not working from wake-up to sleep as I was the first couple of weeks.  I started cooking more adventurous and healthy meals, especially after I subscribed to a fresh produce delivery service.  I became re-acquainted with things I enjoyed as a child.   I started treating my days off as sacred days - although truth be told,  that just started last week.  I started doing the deep breathing exercises that I have had programmed into my watch for months and always ignored.   I started paying really close attention to how everything tastes - because loss of taste is an early symptom of the virus - and found this caused me to eat more slowly and deliberately as I savored each bite.  Practicing self-control in these and other ways, I became much more clear headed. 

And my prayers progressed from “Help me!” to prayers of love for all people, because we are all going through this and we are all reacting differently.  I became better at praying compassionately not just for first responders and essential workers and the sick, but also for the people who are dismissive and angry, whose words and actions are feeding the feelings of division -  on both ends of the spectrum.  I pray for the people who upset or anger or worry me that they may receive all the good things, all the blessings that God showers us with daily - peace of heart, understanding, compassion, mercy . . . in order that I may forgive myself for being angry or worried or upset.   When I can pray lovingly and sincerely with a clear head and self-control, Peter tells us, they bring about forgiveness of many sins.  

Forgiving God, may we move toward self control and clear-headedness, even in the midst of distress and worry, so that our prayers may help us better love one another and ourselves.  Amen.