Untroubled?

John 14:1. NRSV

14:1 "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me.

I’m gonna just let this sit here for a while. . . 

I believe.  That’s pretty much the only thing keeping me together sometimes . . . that belief that God is with me.  But I’m having a problem with the “do not let your hearts be troubled” part.  My mind keeps going to the psalms, and not the happy ones with unicorns skipping like calves. (Psalm 29:6 KJV)  Instead, my heart sings the sorrowful tune that the exiles sang in Babylon. 

How can we sing a song to the Lord  in a foreign land? (Psalm 137:4 )

I cry out from the solitude of my home.

I am worn out, O Lord; have pity on me!

    Give me strength; I am completely exhausted

3   and my whole being is deeply troubled.

How long, O Lord, will you wait to help me? (Psalm 6:2-3)

I mean, I’m not expecting God to stretch out a hand and make the virus suddenly disappear and get everyone’s jobs back and have all the bills that came due while people had no income just be forgiven by their creditors, although all those things would certainly be nice.  It’s just that this seems to be going on forever, and I am having a hard time.  

I know that this, too, shall pass.  I know this, but it’s another thing that I’m having trouble with right this minute.  There have been times in my life that I have had to call a friend and ask her to tell me “This, too, shall pass,” because I needed to hear it from someone other than myself if I was going to believe it. 

Worship helps. Singing and praying and sharing the bread and cup helps.  The fact that I get to participate with everyone else, because my part of the service was recorded yesterday helps.  Knowing that, although I may be by myself in my house, I am not really alone, because my community of faith is with me.  God is with me.     

Merciful God, I lift my troubled heart to you.  May the peace that surpasses all understanding fill our hearts, so that our fears and pain may be eased.  Amen.