Words of love.

 Ephesians 4:29      New Revised Standard Version

29 Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up, as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear.

This is what I think pretty much any time I get on Facebook these days.  Even the kindest, gentlest people I know are beginning to be angry at the anger and rudeness.  That little angry face icon shows up more and more often - and that’s on the pages of ministers and other religious folk!  It would probably easier for me just to stay off social media, but a lot of my work takes place there.  I learn more about the families of my congregants and what is going on with them on Facebook than any other way.  In many circumstances it is the only contact I have with people.  So I have to be careful when reading posts to not let the anger get to me.

Speaking for building up seems to be a lost art.  We are quick to say, “Hey, that’s wrong. Don’t do it that way!” than to ask a person why they are doing whatever in the way they are doing it. They might need to be directed to do the thing differently, or you might learn a different way to do the thing. You never know.  When a child gets a low grade on a report card, praise them and encourage them to do better, don’t call them stupid and ask why they didn’t work harder.  See if they need help with the subject.  

I am as guilty of this as anyone else.  I often have to bite my tongue before the wrong words come out. Sometimes I don’t bite soon enough and I cause pain to another, which is rarely my intention.  Even customer service people who are giving me the one answer I really don’t want to hear deserve to be treated with grace and kindness.

If we truly love one another, we will speak gently, giving guidance and encouragement to the best of our ability.  But it seems, sadly, that our go-to reaction to anything that we disagree with even a little bit is that (overdone) meme of the two women screaming and pointing at the cat sitting at the table.  All of them look angry and accusatory, even the cat!  There is no grace evident in that picture at all.

It might be best to consider these questions before speaking:  “It is true? Is it kind? Is it necessary?”   

Loving God, help me to learn to think first before speaking.  Let the words that come from my mouth always be spoken with love toward the other, that they might not cause pain.  May I always temper anger with love, and speak with grace and care to every person.  Amen.