Tuesday, October 6, 2020

The whirlpool of my mind


Isaiah 26:4     CEB

Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord is a rock for all ages.

One of my daily meditation emails usually has long passages to consider.  Today’s was very short, and easy to remember.  I probably should use it as a daily affirmation.

I don’t always remember to trust in the Lord.  I worry about “what if’s” and all the things that could possibly go wrong.  I lay awake some nights with my concerns and fears circling endlessly like the water above a drain.  I repeat all those mantras to myself, like “If you have faith, you don’t have to worry.  If you worry, you don’t have faith.”

Most of my worries these days aren’t about things like how I am going to pay the bills, or buy food, or get enough gas to get to work, although I have had years on end when I had those kinds of worries.  My worries today tend to be about how other people are going to react to situations, or to things I said. I second guess myself and worry about things I wish I had done differently.  I try to practice acceptance - I pray the Serenity Prayer over and over.  I practice deep breathing exercises to calm my body and mind. But when my mind is spinning it is hard to let God’s peace inside.

Every now and again, this verse or something like it will pass through my mind as I lay awake.  And then I have an “I could have had a V8!” moment.  “Oh yeah,” I tell myself. “God’s got this.  I can trust God.  I can just wrap this worry up in gift wrap and hand it over.”  Then instead of worries or mantras about worries, I have a whole list of things I know to be true to keep in my mind.

God is my rock, my fortress.  

Anything is possible with God.  

Where ever I am, God is there also.

No matter what, God loves me.

Gracious God, thank you for your patience with me when I lay awake worrying. I know that you are always there, constant and immoveable.  Help me, I pray, remember that on the nights when my mind is spinning out of control, so that I can let the blessing of your peace into my heart.  Amen


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