Soul Friend
I cry aloud to the Lord;
I lift up my voice to the Lord for mercy
I pour out before him my complaint;
Before him I tell my trouble.
When my spirit goes faint within me,
It is you who watch over my way.
I miss a lot of things during this time of sheltering in place. One of the things I miss the most is the hour I spend every month with my Spiritual Director. Every month since March I have emailed her on our appointment day with my regrets. Every month I hope that next month it will be different, and I will be able to see her.
Spiritual Director doesn’t really describe the relationship clearly. The certificate on her wall says “Spiritual Director,” but her actual role is more like the Celtic concept of Anamchara or Soul Friend. She is the person with whom I discuss my prayer life and my spiritual health. I tell her about my spiritual practices, and what is going on in my heart. I share my joys, my celebrations, and my level of contentment with my vocation. When I have doubts, I tell her. When my heart aches, I tell her. When I am having trouble praying, I tell her. She does not give me answers, or propose fixes for any issues I might have, but she does listen. She might suggest a prayer focus, but mostly, she listens to me and encourages me and prays with me. She sits in silence with me, holding open a space for God’s response.
Every time I walk into her space my whole being relaxes. It is a safe place, a comfortable place. I need this in my life - a person who can sit still, grounded and grounding, holding space while my mind spins, to help me connect with God in the days “When my spirit goes faint within me.”
I think we all need someone we can turn to when our minds are spinning, when our spirit is weary and we just need someone to listen for a minute. Or if not a person, a place we can go where the world does not enter with us, where we can sit in silence and wait for God to speak.
A place where we can feel God hearing our cries, and watching over us when our spirit grows faint.
Loving God, we thank you for the friends of our soul, and for the places and practices you have put in our lives to help us to connect with you when our minds spin out of control. May we always be willing to share our troubles, and to listen for you in the silence. Amen
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